…and the streets were rather empty as we rode by on our bikes. Instead, start lines and finish lines were getting raised, mile markers getting ink’d and porta-lou’s placed on the side of the street. It’s the hometown Marathon + Half Marathon tomorrow in the land of Vangroovy! This is a special race for me – it was my first marathon, ever. It was the first finish line that I crossed and thought “this will be the start of a looong somethin’ somethin’”…. dream-seeds-were-planted! I ran it with my Bro that day, back in 2005 and then cheered my lil heart out last year while he crushed his goal in marathon #2.

Tomorrow I will awake before the sun to get my long run in to ensure that I can be out as super-fan for the half + full, because only next to racing is cheering my favorite way to spend a weekend. I feel like the streets will be full of many familiar faces …some for the first time and some crushing goals, yet everyone who is out there is out there in CHOICE and EPIC DETERMINATION! #ifreakin’lovethat

Apples + Becks….Neener…Edgeworth…The North Shore chics + Jordo…the list goes on….I’m cheering for you!

As my favorite pro says, let’s kick some tires + light some fires! See you at the finish line my friends!

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” – E Roosevelt

It happened over a Sunday brunch with one of my favorite luon-wearing-homos…we had both just finished working a full day on Saturday and looked at each other like “is this really how it oughtta be”? In the back of my head, I heard our CEO repeating “those who work smarter not harder will get rewarded” – one of the first lines she ever said to me, yet nearly 3 years later, am i just stupid? No. I’m not stupid. I care about the work i do and i care even more about the people i work with. Yet if you were to look at my calendar, how i spend my precious days might not be reflective of that which truly does matter most.

So today, instead of spending the mere 30minutes of non-meeting time in my calendar doing something productive, i wrote this lil diddy and decided to send it to the ever-growing People Potential team. Some people responded, others declined and many didn’t reply at all. Nonetheless, i was quite smitten with this poem and thought it might inspire you to clear a day in your calendar…to just be awesome!

If John Lennon were alive, I could hear him sing…..

Imagine there’s no meetings
Your calendar is open wide
Time to pee,sing,dance+answer emails
Getting shit done cannot be denied.
Imagine all the people living for today!

Imagine Fridays are available
To chat + meet with your peeps*
Nothing to run for or run from
And no slide decks awaiting tweaks
Imagine all the people living life in peace!

You, you may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one
We know we’re elevating this big world and our inboxes will be at one!

*By meet with your peeps we actually mean swing-by-my-desk or call-me-and-I’ll-answer…just don’t block time off to do so.

Consider the possibility that FRIDAYS are your day to FREESTYLE, FINISH or FINESSE work/projects that have been put off when your calendar is not freakin’ full!  I see a future of wide open spaces! I see a future where my weeks are mo’than meetings….we are mo’, yo!

Gonna do my very best and it ain’t no lie/ If you put me to the test, if you let me try/

Take a chance on me! – Abba

Wouldn’t it be great if I got the job, the job that might be bigger than me, and was told we have faith that you’ve got this – Go Shine! It says we believe in you for more than who you today. The risk is that i fail – probably miserably – and the cost is high, as is the learning. The alternative is to let me prove to you that I’m big enough and chase the carrot you have dangled out in front. The risk is I’m never fast enough or tire out from running too fast; burn out will most likely ensue, hopefully not boredom.

The same goes with lovers. Imagine waiting on love until you had the perfect body, with a clear conscious mind and an open calendar and the perfect outfits and a clear car….oh for the sweet love of love! What is the risk? A broken heart perhaps. 

The punch line is that I need to show up with just enough huzzah and the right amount of spunk for you to pause and say, “it’s worth the risk of it not working out with this cat”.

Oh but wait… I don’t need YOU to take a chance on me – a title doesn’t define me; nor does a six pack or a clean car. I need to take a chance on me!

Because we are more than feedback in the moment, race results, or bank account statements. We are more than a performance review. You are more than every appointment in your calendar – a meeting in a bored room (ha!) or a doctor’s office. You are more than your down dogs + headstands. There is MORE behind it all…there is mo’goodness + mo’greatness. What this world needs are mo’leaders to stand up beside you and say you are FREAKIN’ BRILLIANT; mo’lovers to declare you are STUNNING; mo’coaches + cheerleaders + raving fans who’ve all got your back…

You are more. You are more than you think you are. Take a chance on YOU! It might just leave enough room for someone else to take a chance on you too:) xo

I went quiet; it was dark. Through the last few months when my world felt like it was falling apart, I hung onto all that I thought I could still control: my health. I was grateful for my daily endorphin-hit and I overdosed. Out on “one too many runs”, thinking it would solve all of my problems….and I was left 1hr away from home, hobbling on 1 leg for the most painful 2hr walk back. And that was 4weeks ago. FOUR.WEEKS. My drug of choice (running that is!) was no longer even a fleating thought and I was working to be able to walk to work without being in pain. The start line of IM CdA became a questionable dream, hardly a goal.

So then i go on a trip to CdA with the IronGirls and think that drugs will “cure my pain”. Drugs. I never take drugs. I’m awake all night (because drugs keep you up at night!) and take more in the morning, determined to run the IM course with Sus. I run an hour out; and walk the rest of the course home. On the brink of tears…is this foreshadowing? I don’t think i can live with myself if i’m gonna start a race knowing that i will be walking a marathon. (Only my Mama walks marathons…)

Point: recovery is possible; healing is remarkable; miracles do happen!

For the sweet love of Sukhi Muker (this dude changed my view of the world; it then my world changed with it) + the German Massage Therapist of Vancouver (this chic is somethin’ special!), I’m back. 11miles later with Sus today, i feel like i’m starting marathon training on nothing…building to something…and the start line is back within sight. It’s gonna happen. It’s gonna be sweet. It’s gonna be a journey worth bloggin’ about because as the German informed me “your ankle is injured because your head is foggy; sort your head out and you will heal your ankle”.

My promise is to never, ever give up, ever. 9 weeks and I’m countin’…

XO.

PS – Dr. Sukhi is offering a 4 week course starting TOMORROW evening for 4 Tuesday (evenings) in a row…if you haven’t signed up, i highly highly recommend it! I hang up the phone with this guy and can’t fall asleep. He flips my entire universe of her head:)

It was short + sweet; long bike rides + a painful-wanna-be-run; strong girlfriends + amazing Hutter Hospitality…it was an IM kinda training weekend. And I think Chrissie Wellington’s fav poem sums it up best…

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
‘ Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son.

Happy Easter! Happy Trails! He has risen; He has risen indeed!

Dear Saturday’s Ride….

You rocked my crotch! It’s been a long while since I’ve been in the saddle for nearly 160km, on a tri bike nonetheless. And boy was I ever mistaken thinking this was going to be a flat ride…it was the farthest thing from flat. Climbs galore, head winds and cross winds and hardly any tail winds, didn’t keep me overly consistent in one position on the bike today and I’ve got the saddle sores to prove it! Yet as I lie awake in bed at 2AM with petunia on fire + wind burnt lips, I’m so grateful for the opportunity to ride my bike…this kinda pain doesn’t come from sitting at home!

I’m so grateful…

…that despite other body injuries, you held up today and took me for a ride, literally + figuratively.
…that I have friends who are so much stronger than me and wanted to take you head-on today! (pssst - i think they won!)
…that flat tires happen and gas stations pop up just when I need to pee!

Bottom of a climb, a rest you say? Heck Yes!

…that when I burn 5,000 calories and only consume 400calories + 1 water bottle, my body reminds me that it requires MORE!
…that when I get on the bike, I’m not required to be anywhere but exactly where I am. It’s the perfect reminder that we decide the weather. Today was no exception.

Love + SaddleSores,
xo

Who knew the sweet lil land of Coeur d’Alene, ID was so vast….so wild….and full of quite so many trucks? It reminds me alot of Penticton actually. I’m not sure if the same Ironman dreams of Penticton will in fact come true this year in CdA as I hobble around with a bunk’d knee and an ankle that feels like it’s on fire…and ya know, it just doesn’t matter!

I’m here with TeamSDS staying at the Hutter Hotel, which feels like living the triathlon-dream! We rode part of the course today until it started snowing. We stopped to warm up at a ”gas station” – there were more Nestle products than i even knew existed and restrooms weren’t available to the public. Seriously? We hammered home and enjoyed the climbs just to warm up!

And the best part of all, felt like the only thing we are here to do…is be our very best. Ride as hard as we can ride, run like we can run and swim like we can swim; nap in the afternoon and eat deliciously nutritious food. What i know for sure is that this is a lifestyle that deserves to transcend “long weekend training camps”…

More to follow tomorrow after we finish the bike course and indulge in ELK TACOs for dinner from the famous M.Hutter…#justhowtheyrollhere!

…what if these were the types of emails we sent more often? what if this was the type of inspiration that hit our inboxes….would it change your day? or better yet, would it change how you spend your days? thank you.

Your moment when everything is ready to change.
Your moment when life as it was is gone, forever – and what is to come is completely new.
This could be your moment of metamorphosis.

The life of a caterpillar is completely different than that of a butterfly’s.
It no longer crawls on the ground. No more eating leaves. No longer protecting itself from ants.
No – it’s life completely changes. His outer appearance, his talents, his day-to-day routine… absolutely everything is different.
A butterfly flies. It eats nectar from flowers. It watches the sky for attacking birds. It migrates.

I wonder what would happen if the caterpillar tried to hold on to its old life?
If it tried to create a better version of itself – caterpillar 2.0 – instead of simply embracing the transformation into a butterfly.

A caterpillar doesn’t know how to fly. It doesn’t know what nectar tastes like.
A butterfly does though. Resisting the transformation is resisting its survival and big, beautiful life.

I thought this could be your moment.
You – from caterpillar to butterfly – as things seriously shift.

If this is your moment, I invite you to find the hope the caterpillar has. He believes in his new self.
He believes in the butterfly he is to become. He ditches his life and embraces his new one.

What if this was your moment sis!
What if something big is meant for you.
You, the butterfly. Not you the caterpillar.

What holds you back from spreading your wings?

Just in case you are thinking about getting rid of anything at all, I thought I’d let you in on Operation: Fill the Loft! It’s 6months until the land of aloha, so temporary is the name of the game but home is where the heart is.

Here is the Everything Room (bedroom meets living room meets let’s-have-a-picnic room!)….it has a camping matress + of course, Willy!

And here is my latest alley-find – it will be getting shabby-chic’d this weekend, with new knobs to boot!

 I post these because really + truly, the before and after pics of this place i hope to be indicitive of the before + after pics of my life…..will i be able to laugh again a year from now? #ihopeso

So I was hiding behind some kitchen-concoctions and thought about blogging anonymously so you wouldn’t know what was reallllly going on….

There once was an elephant in the room and then i let you on the secret: we split. I moved out and lived in friends pad for a month before moving into the affectionately referred to ”campsite”. It was a concrete loft where i couldn’t get cell coverage, let alone an internet connection; i had a bodum + a vitamix + a few bowls, the rest of the place was mostly furnished from a sweet yogi who was off to India. It worked and it was temporary; it just wasn’t home.

With the end of the month looming, it meant it was moving time. I spent the last 2 nights schlepping bags of from one campsite to the next pad. Bless my precious buddy + her pick up truck. She showed up + i sobbed. This just freakin’ sucks. I don’t love camping any longer. I’m not sure what I’ll sleep on tonight, but i’ve got a roof over my head. Who needs cutlery or furniture? I’d last until midnight until my hands were chafted, my back was sore and it was time to just call it a night.

During this time of “transition”, I have been so grateful for my health. Sweaty pursuits have kept me grounded and the endorphins have been a drug. I kept saying “admist all of this, at least i’m not injured…” (the universe heard me!)

my health…has been better. Training has been rough, to put it mildly. I took a week off, like o…f…f. I am not sure i have evereverever taken 5 days of nooothing. It happened 1hr into a bike ride when i gave up, cried and rode home to crawl into bed for the rest of the weekend. #breakdown It was time to determine if i even had this IM in me. Perhaps I’m just not strong enough? Well, whether i’m strong enough or not, I have a deep rooted love for swimbikerun and the journey of triathlon is just that – a journey. Where this journey takes me, I might not know, but after a brief conversation with a sweet spiritual homeboy, I decided that it’s worth the pain….to get back on my bike. And a 4hr bike ride later, i have a bunk knee which I tried to compensate for on a run to only bunk my ankle….and now i hobble. Oy!

There really have been brighter days.

“Everything will be alright” is not the same as “everything will stay the same.” – Seth Godin