STEPH CORKER!

Domain names have changed and homes have moved. Life happens and life changes. I’ve heard from many of you that you’ve been waiting for me to be authentic; I’ve also heard thru many grape vines that you want to know “what’s going on” and “if everything is okay”. I appreciate that you care.

Splitting isn’t easy; it’s fresh + it’s raw; there are good days and there are tough days and lots of tears in between. And there are more beautiful people in this world than I even knew existed. People care and they genuinely only want the very best for all of us; the Universe listens to us and only wants what we want….happyness.

While at first i thought it might be strange to blog about my new reality, i feel more moved to be real with you because it is what is real with me…and by being real now, means you can join me in the journey that lies ahead! I want you to know that I’m embarking upon unknown territory with only a heart as a compass. My wish is that when we bump into each other on the street or at a coffee shop, it doesn’t need to be wierd – we don’t need to pause in awkward silence but instead embrace for the sweet love of today. Afterall, I hope your heart is your compass too!

What has kept me moving forward during this time…

+ Family is love; my Bro is my backbeat.
+ Green juice fuels my soul + my body. I’m drinkin’ lots of it.
+ Endorphins are my temple and my crack.  I’m addicted.
+ YogaYogaYoga. Gettin’ my downdog on is keeping me grounded.
+ LoveLoveLove. I’m pourin’ it out + pourin’ it on, always.
+ My Girlfriends make my world go ’round. Never ever ever underestimate the power in being a remarkable girlfriend. I’ve learned a lifetime of friendship lessons in 2months.
+ Crying is the new norm because I’m learning about being emotionally aware enough to want to release tears from my heart. Note: i have been known to break down on my mat as well. Location doesn’t matter!

Life will go on….my love for him will never dwindle; he is an amazing man who i simply was not meant to be with for the rest of my life and who will do great things with his life. He knows I have a lifetime of adoration + respect for him. Your questions/concerns/love can be poured onto new seeds of fresh possibility.

LoveLove,
xo

I started running (read: waddling perhaps?) when I weighed at least 30lbs more than I do now. I couldn’t run far and I certainly couldn’t run fast, but I liked the idea of one day being able to run a marathon…one day….

My first half marathon was a staggering 2:22 and I’m pretty certain that my first full marathon was slower than my Ironman marathon time. I joined run groups that would circle back to find me because I was just that slow. And week after week, I just kept running.

It’s been a few years now… and it hit me on Tuesday morning while Sus + I were prancing around the track trying to run slow enough to hold coaches orders of 7min/miles. Our casual canter has increased, significantly. What used to be our tempo runs have become our long run speed and speed work that used to be really hard has become more of a prance. Our long runs have become “just a Tuesday morning run” and best times seem slightly irrelevant …mostly because every long run is faster than my best 10km time!

Why does this matter? And why am i sharing this? Because on the brink of a new year when people are ferociously setting goals, my wish is that you have a coach/lover/dreamer on your shoulder telling you that you are capable of way more than you think you can! This year, it’s our crazy coach, affectionately known as Dr. Intensity. He has lofty expectations of how fast we should be able to run….and whether or not we run that fast, the mere fact that the seed of possibility has been planted most likely implies we don’t have a choice but to run, faster. Day after day, lofty doesn’t feel so lofty anymore. All it took was someone with more belief in our dream than our own to send our hearts pounding faster.

So dare I call myself a “runner”…that still feels ambitious. Yet what I know for sure is that I am a Dreamer of Big Dreams….and running fast might just be one of them!

Last week I told you about how 2012 was kicking off to a blazing sweaty start! And it is only getting sweatier…

What i didn’t share were these pics, taken from the pain train during a DougGiles special trainer fest:

This would be a TeamS sandwich - Smiling Susie chatting with two especially ripped dudes, while I'm taking pictures. #classic

And then things got serious.

I took these pictures because something tells me that as this beautiful RainCouver winter goes on, there will be many hours logged on the trainer. The trainer makes us stronger; girlfriends make the time pass quickly; boys bring great playlists!

Until one week later, a ride outside in the “drizzle” didn’t sound like that big of a deal when Tom says “let’s ride bikes!”. The first two hours weren’t, but every minute thereafter, was frigidity. The truth of the matter is that it was actually completely exhilarating to be riding in the brisk wind with massive trucks spraying road dirt all over us. For a brief moment in time i felt “hard core”. Briefly. Thankfully, these rad (read: smokin’ fast!) dudes pulled me home + agreed to stop for a pic before we parted ways…

Chuck i-don't-believe-in-fenders Cosman + The legendary Tom Skinner!

And i came home with cramping toes and frozen fingers and a filthy bike. I was too cold to stand in the shower for longer than 2min and proceeded to flop into bed with 4 layers on in a weak attempt to get warm.

As i rolled out of bed at 4pm, with still frozen toes, i was reminded that these are the Saturdays I have ahead of me….and i wouldn’t have it any other way.

PS – Who is racing the spring series? While this beautiful cat has convinced me to race with her, i’m pretty certain i couldn’t be more petrified…

And the new year has begun! As day 3 of 2012 comes to a close, I look back and think this year is already rad and it really, like really, is just getting started. I notice a trend…Team SusieDianeSteph (aka Team IM CdA) are tough as nails + real food fuels our machine! 

New Years eve we rocked out 3hrs of sweat-dripping-trainer-hammering before scurrying off to our evening plans. January 1st was rung in with delicious friends by the ocean (+a crab fest don’tchaknow!) and was followed by an afternoon nap + a double yoga class next to my most favorite human being on the planet (B-RO), from our most favorite yoga teacher. The 2nd was the annual 100×100′s in the pool, where proudly TeamSDS were the last ones standing. And tonight in the darkrainydarkevening skies, (Susie)^2 proceeded a tempo run thru puddles leaving blistered bloody heels and smiles as evidence.

Powered by this green stuff, because something tells me that this is the stuff that might make those last 6miles just a lil bit smoother….

In case you are wondering: The Garden Juice is also called my fridge thrown into a vitamix. Quite literally. Kale, celery, apple, pear, lemon, ginger, yellow pepper, water for lubricant. (Apparently my Bro appreciates knowing what I’m eating!)

And i share all of this with you from no place of kilometer checking or green juice slammin’, but rather the baby steps….the daily steps….to chasing the dream. The power of writing goals and sharing bucket lists. The beauty in declaring what makes your heart pound and marinating in the juiciest feelings of your most sweetest self. Dive in!

(Disclaimer: there might be many a km sharing in the next 6months…many km’s will be hammered! #justsayin’)

As inspiring as Tiny Buddha was yesterday, there really are soo many more people to thank as this year comes to a close. And while this post will hardly do justice, it will serve as a small token to the remarkable people in my life.

Bro, simply put, my life is mo’bettah because of you. You are a girls best friend, my confidant and the keel to my ship. I am so proud to be your sister (did you know that?); I adore you. Thank you for being you, really.

DLP, you are a soul sistah; a life line when all life lines have been used and the first person I call when good news strikes. And above that, you are the most humble celeb i know. That lil man of yours, he too is something special. Thank you for opening your home, at every hour, to the Corkers.

Lehms….life changed with you and you were my rock. You taught me the power of laughing your patoot off on the beach and the belief that everyone can do a handstand. Because of you, one day, i will kick up goshdarnnit…

TeamS+S+D, you are the sweatiest people i know. Thank you for waiting for me when i’m consistently late to every workout (it will change in 2012!), not ditching me when I prairie-dog + pretending i don’t have mascara all over my face at morning runs. Here’s to dreams coming true…because you aren’t in my age group:)

Mr. Maan, there is no one like you on this planet. From kayaks to gay swimming to Shanghai Tangin’ it with Uncle Eddie, life with you is never (ever!) boring. Let’s celebrate…I have a bottle of Dom;)

Teamlululemon….ApplesJackiJurgsWhartyAlishaCourtJoelErikaMikeyJRobKKwanJaciMargo, you are treasured people who I’m so grateful to spend my days with. Life is sweet in luon; you make it even sweeter.

Hudson, you remind me that it is all possible. From finish lines to power cleans + paleo, while I might suck at being in touch, you leave me inspired daily. Our adventures are some of my fondest memories and meeting FatFrank will go down as one of the top 10 days of my life!

Rachel Ross, you are a living example of The Secret. And meeting you in the flesh was even more epic. Feeding you a finish line burger while women gawked at your 6pack was also rad. You are an inspiration pretty lady.

Blessed yogi’s Mike + Meghan, Chloe + Nico, you are beautiful human beings with exploding hearts. I’m so glad you are doing your life’s work because we all reap the benefits of you following your bliss.

Of course, Mama + Pops, there is no love on this earth like your love. I have two simple wishes: that you will feel my immense gratitude and that one day I will be able to be of similar awesomeness to the next generation.

And lastly, my cyber friends, some of whom I might actually know, others who I don’t know at all. Ya know, new friends and old friends. Those of you who sent notes during dark days and high fives when the sun was shining. I appreciate all of you, always.

Good Night 2011.

Taken directly from the always-inspiring Tiny Buddha, this post seemed exceptionally appropriate to repost to ensure that you too soaked it in. As we wrap 2011 in a pretty lil bow, my wish for you is that you will thank yourself for the great, the good + the ugly…

Last year, someone asked me in an interview what I’d say to myself, from 10 years ago, if I could meet that person now. I said something along the lines of, “Be good to yourself—you’re doing the best you can.”

She then asked what I’d say to myself 50 years in the future, if I could meet that version of me now. I answered that, to that Lori, I would say, “Thank you.”

I realized after the fact that I thanked my 80 year old self because that version of me would have presumably done everything I wanted to do in this world, and using the wisdom I gave younger me, she would hopefully have done it being good to herself.

But I recognized that it was equally important to thank myself at each step of the way—regardless of what I did, and even when I stumbled. Why? Because I was doing the best I can, and that is something worth recognizing and appreciating, not just in hindsight, but right now.

This is the time of year when many of us look back at the 365 days past and measure how much we’ve accomplished—and then look into the next 365 to detail everything we’d like to achieve.

There’s nothing wrong with making goals; in fact, I’m a huge proponent. But as we go into the next year, I invite you to join me in thanking the “us” from 2011—not just for the things we’ve crossed off our to-do and bucket lists, but for all the courage, passion, strength, and just plain good-heartedness we demonstrated.

Here is my list of “Thank yous” to me:

• Thank you for growing a little every day.
• Thank you for forgiving yourself when you stumbled.
• Thank you for loving fully and vulnerably.
• Thank you for trying new things, even when you felt scared.
• Thank you for cutting yourself some slack when you did nothing because you were scared.
• Thank you for using the wisdom you gained, instead of just acquiring knowledge.
• Thank you for taking care of yourself, physically, mentally, and emotionally, more often than not.
• Thank you for loving yourself, regardless of what you achieved.

….that makes everyone come out and shine their light. My daily blog traffic has been off the charts for the past couple of weeks and I can’t deny that I wish I was sharing my daily ramblings with you. I feel smothered in love that I didn’t even know existed in this lifetime. I am wrapped in gratitude for the remarkable human beings on this planet. I am blessed beyond measure of the power of girlfriends and boyfriends and brothers and mothers and fathers.

The winds of change are blowing and life is going to be coming back in a different package. For now, it will stay in savasana…resting in corpse pose…..waiting the fresh new year.

I hope your world is wrapped in as much love with lots of Christmas crafts (errr knitmuch?), cozy beverages + snowshoe adventures. It’s December tomorrow. Joy to the World! xo

Words to live+love+laugh+give by. Love, Jason Mraz